InteractionsA few days back, I realised I have been using too many 'I's in my daily conversations. Now, that's not good. I've become more conscious of what I say now but it also led me to think, since when did it become this case?
I grew up a listener but my role seems to have switched now. Frankly, I don't favour this change. The listener knows all yet mystery surrounds him. I like that. I like how I wasn't so easily read. I like how I could actually see through people. Nowadays, I can't differentiate any more - just for company or something more than that? And I actually quite like that silence as well.
Somehow, I can manage a conversation with a stranger or a random friend of a friend but I've that little bit of fear when faced with someone familiar. Ramblings of random stuff come spilling out then and it becomes nothing more than yet another show of superficiality.
I want something more than that. I mean, it's nice to always bump into people walking around campus and also know that you can always find company if you need some throughout the day. But how many are for now, and how many are to stay?
It's sad that often in uni, people view relationships in terms of the benefits you bring them. Like when they said, 'we should hang out more with her 'cause she's the link to everyone'. I didn't know whether to feel proud or just plain sad.
Funny how presently the person I have the most faith in is bcmm who I see only once a week (and that's if we're lucky) and not S who I take 4 modules with.
