merry is love ;

We are the world

It's sad that in this world, status and money gain more respect than charity. An exception being the case of charity in the form of truckloads of money. Makes me wonder when I will (or can) truly give up on material pursuits to live a more enriching life. Also renews my desire to be a nurse (since being a doctor is out of reach) and a PE teacher so that I can help people. My uncle has been to Nepal a couple of times for charity and my cousin has embarked on a sanitary project in Timor Leste with a few friends. I'm not thinking that far, I just want to help fellow Singaporeans (also because I believe in helping family before helping others). Perhaps I should take the first step by going for blood donations with Sissy S. It's a baby one but it's a start. As she tweeted, she has given her first red packet (literally 红包) to HSA. Yes, I should start accumulating good karma too.

P.s. Okay la, the desire to be a nurse is also fuelled by the chance to wear scrubs.

Randoms over the week

Lazy so just pointers so I won't forget.

I completed a 1700+ word essay in half a day. Procrastination boosts productivity I swear.
I don't like the idea of pawn shops advertising on tv. To me, it's akin to encouraging either spending beyond your means or lack of financial planning. It's like, you need a little money, you pawn your jewellery. So as the logic goes, if you need more money, you sell your car? Then what if you need major money? You mortgage your house?!
Mahjong is on my mind every day of the week.
Chinese New Year is fattening! I now have a tubby!
The takoyaki at Ion Orchard is indeed worth raving about.
I didn't notice the Tangs building across Ion Orchard has such clean lines.
I miss just sitting at a chill-out place, having a drink, and listening to a live band.
I just realised I was really among big-shots in China after I heard that a guy we played pool with has taken over my Uncle's portfolio in the company. Then it occurred to me that I've been toasted by two big bosses (裴总 and the boss of this Wuxi company that employs 18,000 workers), a marketing director, GM(s), AGM(s), managers, and senior supervisors. Them toasting me? An intern who in Grey's words, is the bottom of the surgical food chain? I'm awed once again by my Uncle's power.
Freaking NUS stole three days of public holiday making my recess week four days long. What the crap?! No wonder I had no time to do anything!
I make a rude and terrible customer when I'm not in a good mood or am tired.
My doctor's bill came up to freaking 120bucks! I forgot to add the cost for the pills I needed to get from the pharmacy 'cause the clinic ran out of them. SO NOT CHEAP. And because of the SO NOT CHEAP cost, this is one of the few times I'm really taking my medicine religiously. That's taking 1.905g of pills, a effervescent tab, and 30ml of cough syrup a day. So not little either. On the bright side, I can finally eat cold stuff! The cough is really going away!
I love the new 'We are the World' music video and am very impressed with how Hollywood and the Hong Kong tv/movie/singing world always manage to organise charity events like these within a short time successfully, with all the big names too.
I'm finally sleeping at decent hours! :D

Mahjong wins essay.

GAHHH. Why the crap did NUS shift our recess week to this week?!?! I ~~hardly~~ don't have time to do my 2000-word essay. Dang it's not even started yet! There's still presentation. Oh and the e-reflections that's supposed to be done by today that I totally forgot about. At least one thing's done - I PASSED MY FTT!! YAY YAY YAY. :D :D

Two more things accomplished this week: A visit to the dentist and a visit to the doctor. Dentist visit was concluded with an appointment to extract my wisdom tooth the week after. BAHH. The horror! Of the pain, of not being able to eat, of.. well.. the extraction of my wisdom. :/ Also finally went to my mom's company's doctor for my 2-months cough and paid a hefty 96bucks for x-ray at Raffles Hospital, 2-part consultation lastng about 30 minutes, and medicine! Apparently, I've a little water in my lungs and the diagnosis is something in between bronchitis and asthma 'cause apparently, the right side of my lung is also a little weak. I don't see how I can have an in-between case seeing I haven't felt breathless but anyway! SIGH. Perhaps, this is a sign to start doing some exercise (cardio = improve lung capacity, see the link?)

Mahjong this cny has been pretty.. hmm.. rewarding. Hehe. Pennies wise only though. But I'm more happy that I seldom 放炮 (give the winning tile) these days which means I'm getting pro-er! :D :D Like that afternoon game with YH and his friends, woah I totally impressed (and outdid) myself with not 放炮-ing even once. PROUD. :D :D But on the very same day, YH declared my home a no-go for mahjong 'cause every time he comes here he loses big. I think his 八字跟我家不合. :/ So I lost a mahjong kaki.. I think. :(

Can't wait for more mahjong! The table's really coming in handy. :D

Our annual affair

It took a farewell card to bring to my attention how little we meet. (Digression: I love the card! Too bad I didn't manage to take a picture of it 'cause was in a rush. But it's a 2-sided card with one of an envelope that was going to be mailed out like how she's going away, and the other vintage looking to depict memories. Daiso is improvisation of vintage looking cards haven! End of digression.) Once a year according to recent history.. Does this mean this year's quota is fulfilled? I certainly hope not. I love the talks we have. I love the poking fun, stories, humour, self-deprecating remarks, and most of all, they never fail to make me laugh. Perhaps this is why Qin gave us reason to meet again with her blurness. (: Hope we can have a full-force gathering this year-end so that I can be less hard-pressed to find a picture of all of us together. The last time we had one was in 2008, can you believe it?!

Aloha - Hawaiian speak for hello and goodbye. I thought it was apt for the situation since she's saying goodbye to Singapore and hello to Aussie land. I also said 'Aloha Qin!' - goodbye Qin for now, till we meet in December!

One by one they leave. When will it be me.. again?

This little space of mine

I recently added a fourth blog to my name but not for more of this crazy, emo, utterly irrelevant talk. Rather, it's for a communication module I'm taking. We have to write about our thoughts on the topic of the week (20% weightage!) so it's like an academic blog which when translated literally is an academic journal. Academic journal - what a nice and seemingly professional substitute for 'E-reflections'.

Why I add the blog here is for completeness sake. This space documents the last five years and is like a chronicle of a significant stage of my life - pre and post stepping into adulthood. Why I didn't add my second blog here is because private though this space already is, I need a space that I am certain absolutely no one knows about where I can rant about anything and everything and not be afraid that it'll be read/found/judged. But apparently, I have been living a rather 光明磊落的生活 because the last post there was in March 2009. Why I suddenly lapsed into Chinese I don't know.

Of course I can try to be an insignificant, anonymous loner in a big, sometimes bad world that is the internet and change url or blog somewhere else. But 'crappler' somehow became part of my identity so it's kinda difficult to tear myself away. It was created from my then daily usage of the word 'crap' and my liking of how '-pler' of 'crumpler' rolls off the tongue. Only some three years later did I realise that 'crappler' essentially means a toilet that can't flush properly, which in my opinion translates to full of shit. Now that really isn't a marvelous word to put in such a blog-defining feature but I didn't and won't change the address 'cause I think it quite aptly captures the essence of this space, don't you think?

Not a girly girl

I don't like whining. I don't like nagging. I don't like frills. I don't like lace. I don't like big shades. I don't like shopping with girlfriends. I don't like dilly-dallying. I don't dress up most of the time. I can't be bothered with manicures, pedicures, facial, eyebrows unless there's an important occasion. I don't go wimpy at the prospect of being less than secure. I don't even have a ear piercing.

On the other hand, I like pigging out. I like adventures. I like practicality. I like structured clothes. I like pants. I have an ego. I have opinions. I only go shopping when i need to. I have a good threshold of pain. I like sports. I like short hair and actually want to keep it if I can. I'm strong.

Currently, I'm not too pleased with a particular someone who made a remark that not only is untrue, it also bordered on derogatory. I am also getting a little sick of her whining because it appears she thinks that it's on us. I know I may regret the way I'm treating her now but a shot to my pride, especially if it concerns my family, is one that I will not let pass. Well, I guess this proves once again that my damn ego is as big as a man's.

A quote from one of my favourite shows:

"I am too much woman for you. I have more money. I picked a specialty that makes you nervous. I bought your way into the practice. I'm strong and I'm comfortable with being strong and I like that I'm strong. And if that is too much woman for you; if that makes your junk feel tiny... I'm not gonna make myself smaller. I'm not gonna put myself in a box so that you feel like a big man. I am a big woman and you either get used to it you or get out."

-Charlotte King, Private Practice

888

That's the number of posts I have on this blog. What an auspicious number! Timely too seeing Chinese New Year is just round the corner and I just won at mahjong. Wouldn't call it 发发发 though, more like 发 since CS won close to double of mine. But any winnings is good, big or small. Just feel quite bad 'cause ZX purposely bought new tiles, hosted us, and was the biggest loser. :/ Never mind, this is only the first session of more to come.. I hope! :D

The latest episode of 'Ugly Betty' and a recent issue of My Paper reminded me that 'nothing online is ever private'. I didn't get it when Sissy S asked me to remove the name of the company she's working at but I do now. Although chances are this blog can never be googled, blog links work in incredible ways. God forbid any of her colleagues stumbles upon this space and figures out Sissy S is their colleague from a word because I say the darnest things ~~sometimes~~ many times.

Ahh my lappy's breaking down! Its fan isn't working any more so my processor works damn loudly. The 'H' key isn't working brilliantly too. Hope servicing won't take too long because I can't survive without my lappy. Am so attached to it that even with my sisters, I don't mind letting them use it but I don't actually like them using it.

I hope I don't become one of those sticky girlfriends in the future. I saw how CS received 3 (or was it 4?) calls in the span of 5 hours when GF knew we were playing mahjong, and I know I can never tolerate that. Plus, I also agree with what Qin said the other day about it not being good if friends see each other too often. So even if I get attached, it will never be the case of 重色轻友, do everything together day in day out. Seems to me this is a lil of the commitment-phobic speaking.

Oh, Sam, Wan and I went to the career fair this week and concluded that our future is very bleak. >.<

It's come to my attention that this post has not much of a link but really who cares? It doesn't have much of a point either.

Going to bed! I finally had some fairly decent sleeping hours yesterday - 1am to 9am - but looking at the time now, I guess it's ruined again.

Defeatist mentality XX

I like this song. It clears my head.

So my mood hasn't been that good since I got home. Part tiredness, part PMS, part stressed from knowing what I need to get completed by 2 weeks - 2 project proposals, 1 presentation, 2 essays, my FTT, lots and lots of readings.

Mom threw away a kueh kueh that I had actually wanted to try after I said I didn't want to out of spite when she ignored my question despite knowing it was directed at her. Incidents like this have occurred plenty of times and everytime after it's dumped, I feel some kind of regret 'cause they (whoever it is) bought it specially for me to try. My ego got over me again.

No consolation after at spades where WH and I lost three out of three games. Admittedly, both of us weren't playing well. She had her dumb moves, I had mine. The not-too-fab mood didn't make it better 'cause you know, you always hear that you should not be pek chek when playing mahjong, else the tiles won't come to you.

I need to better keep my ego and emotions in check.

I like to be good at things. Who doesn't? All throughout my life, I've always had something I excelled in, something that set the stage for me to shine, something that made me feel somewhat extraodinary. In primary school, there was swimming. In secondary school, there was chemistry, geography and of course, sailing. In jc, it was also sailing. In uni? Nothing. No achievements whatsoever. Suddenly, I'm being brought back to earth to be a commoner and I don't like the feeling of being ordinary all the time. I need something to make me feel special, something that I am confident I can make it work if I do the right things (which I'm fully equipped with the knowledge to). At present, I find this in - unfortunately completely unrelated to my academics - spades.

I like spades because it plays on the rationality of people and economists like rationality. I also like it because any score is not final till the very end. It's not as simple as taking as many sets as you can (bridge) or giving out the biggest cards (hearts). It's about setting a plan, following it through, and being flexible and adaptable to achieve your aim. It allows you to read people. How a person plays a nil can show if he/she is risk-loving. A pause before clicking on a card during a nil usually indicates your partner probably feels insecure (i.e. have big cards). It has made me more tolerant yet at the same time, it has also made me more critical. What a contradiction.

Another game I've been playing is mahjong. I'm glad I'm improving in the sense that I don't give the winning tile as often now. But you know, with mahjong, there's always an easy way out - any bad playing can be blamed on bad luck. I love playing mahjong. I like spades but I love mahjong. Why? Because mahjong is a social game. It has real-life interaction. It bonds people. I haven't known of anyone who plays mahjong primarily for the money. I feel that mahjong is akin to cycling. That is, of course there's no harm not knowing it. But not knowing how to play it will mean that you're missing out on something.

As the big shots say, 'Learning is a lifelong process.' I apply this most in recreational games (and least in academics sadly) because I believe they help me to connect with others. Texas Hold'em, Big 2, bridge, hearts, pool, bring it on! Hopefully I can add golf, tennis and scuba diving to the list very soon!

My after-lesson Fridays

Today, I did the unthinkable - I watched PP before Grey's. And boy, did it turn out to be the wrong decision! This is the best GA episode in a long long time. Perhaps it's just me.. It sure wasn't the most sensational or action-packed but it finally spoke to me. I love episodes that either make me think or tear or have the indescribable feeling in my palms or the feeling in my chest. This makes me sound so emotional. Am totally falling in love with Grey's all over again! You know my Friday routine now goes - lesson, lunch, lessons till 5pm, then to the library to catch episodes! I feel like I'm a tad fanatic as I type this out but the anticipation every week is so torturous. Next Friday come quick quick! Grey's, PP and Chinese New Year. What a great day it will be!

All it takes is...

SLEEP!

Dang, I am TOTALLY sleeping like a 通宵 player. Last night, because I had lessons at 11 today, I went to bed at 3.30am and COULDN'T SLEEP. 3.30AM! Who can't get to sleep at 3.30am you tell me! SIGH. At times, I really wish we have some sleeping pills at home.

So I told myself and my Econs peep that I WILL SLEEP BY 1AM from now on. Look what's the time now! -.-

Oh I had a brilliant thought last night. Seeing how my teaching/learning spades thing with WH has gone quite well, I offered to teach her mahjong too. But she hasn't agreed. Gahhh though I must say my attempt to expand my mahjong network is gaining a little success. :D :D

Sunday mahjong session with S226-ers!

Quoted from Sissy S's friend: 'Other people go out and spend money during weekends, I'd rather stay in and play mahjong. Maybe can even earn money too!'

AGREE!

The Supervisor

Apparently I wasn't scared off by the huge xiao long bao/steamboat feast the other day. Just went back for the very same thing today with Qin and WH. Like FINALLY! Organising an outing that actually comes to fruition sure is a pain. Didn't eat as much today though.

What stood out during the dinner was nothing food-related. Instead, it was the supervisor (I suppose? She was wearing the brown uniform.) because:
1. She speaks good English. This is a very slipshod generalisation but usually, you expect a Chinese-speaking person to greet you on the phone or at the door at such a Chinese restaurant.
That and mainly because:
2. She had tattoos on her finger and wrist from what I could see. Who knows if the tattoo stretches up her arm? I know that this is very stereotypical (Now, everyone forms stereotypes okay. They aid cognitive economy.) but I usually associate tattoos in prominent places, especially the kind that she has (tribal design), with ah lians or people who go about life aimlessly. What's more, she probably smokes going by her teeth. However, from the way she served us (good) and carried herself, I'd say she has made good. I may be wrong with my deductions here but any how, people like her who totally go against their stereotypes draws me to them.

P.s. Do note that we're talking about a lady here. Guys can have the same tattoo at the same place and give an entirely different impression. It's double standards but it happens.

Mahjong addict!

3 通宵 mahjong sessions in 8 days! :D :D :D Added bonus: Overall profit. But I really think Mom is regretting getting the mahjong table a little. And Thursday session with YH and his friend K made me miss my Friday's lesson. Sigh, no more weekday mahjong sessions. We set a precedence on Saturday - we actually opened 2 tables for all-night sessions. I've only heard of 2 tables open during Chinese New Year. But I guess this shows how much we love love love and want to play play play mahjong. Need to find more mahjong kakis! Mahjong anyone?

Baked kueh bangkit today! We haven't made this in a decade I think. It turned out pretty good - melts in your mouth - though not up to our standard (doesn't melt fast enough, i.e. not exactly 入口即化) and still can't beat Dad's. Not even close actually. Mine's good, his is phenomenal. No kidding! But Dad's recipe for phenomenal kueh bangkit is lost somewhere at home. Hope it gets found soon 'cause that's his mom's food diary which is really a world of golden cooking and baking secrets. Today's recipe can be found on the food blog.