merry is love ;

Ahh down again

It's always like this. Big things, crucial time and there I am, sick. Oh brilliant.

The flu has hit me. Once again right before the Philo paper is due. Which I know nuts about. All I know is the topics are on abstract ideas like 'I think therefore I exist', tolerance, dualism (i.e. separation of mind and body) and another one I still can't quite fathom. Whoever readily thinks of that stuff must be some nerdy freak. Since I am surely not one, I don't. The fact that I haven't quite done all the readings (did most of them though!) is not helping matters. Plus I still have to complete the FNA project for the meeting on Friday. Which I too have no idea how to do. How do you make sense of all that numbers on the annual report? And suddenly I am not sure what 'creditor' means. Ridiculous. Better go ask Sarah about it now.

Damn that blister-inducing heels is indeed blister-inducing. Second time wearing it today and big blisters on my pinkie toe again.

P.s. Oh dear oh dear. After checking out the Philo blog, I found out the three blog comments are also due next Monday. How to spew so much cheemology over the next few days?!

A discovery made on an hour-plus bus ride

Did you know that some buses have not one, not two, but six cameras installed! That means it would be a faux pas to sleep in buses in future. Ugh there goes my all-time favourite method of killing time while travelling.

I think this habit of spotting cameras was cultivated way back in secondary school when we started _____. Looking back now, I wonder how we had the guts to do that. The first time was because someone freaking stole my money and every successful attempt after that made us a little bolder. But to be honest, I never regretted any of that. It is something I'll never do now but really, I enjoyed it. It was such a thrill! Made my childhood a wee bit more colourful. (:

So another Philo paper is due on Monday and I haven't done the readings! Philo will be the death of me. Seriously.

Attended HF's wedding dinner on Saturday. Was in such a rush dressing up for it. My nails were ruined because I kept hitting it against something before the nail polish was dried. -.- It's my very first invitation to a wedding dinner! Like one that is addressed to me and not the whole family. (: Ooh maybe I ought not to be happy 'cause that can only mean I'm growing old too. Grr.

This is what it says

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realise all your ambitions.

What is wrong?

Recent absent-mindedness and the inability to talk properly has given me a cause for worry. I would have left my mobile on the table on Tuesday and my lappy behind today if not for friends. Ugh. Plus nowadays, I keep eating my words when I speak. Either that or I will take a couple of seconds to end a sentence because I just cannot remember the word I want to use.

I had fun today. I think it's cool that we still hang out together despite my not seeing (not even bumping) them in forever with all that running all around campus for lessons. Us five girls went to Clarke Quay's Settlers after school and it was loads of laughter. Roomie and I are officially the best partners at Blokus and I am officially the worst at First Hand. Cannot wait to go play again. Lin said we'll go sometime next week or something with Pong, D etc. Woots!

Oh oh. For once, I was actually early for Econs tutorial but the tutor actually came late! Grr. We were all on the way to leaving the seminar room for breakfast already when she entered. Bleh.

Your space, my space/Your circle, my circle

I saw her face changed when I asked for his number. She needn't have worried. I know how it feels like and I would never do that to her. It is respect, simple as that.

The sudden rush of work due tomorrow is making me panic a little. Plus the 8am Econs tutorial which I absolutely cannot be late for. I think the tutor has noticed me so I have to also prepare the work for that which I haven't. That and the FNA tutorial presentation. And the FNA project. And the EC2303 tutorial. Gah.

What awes me

are the little things like how the bus drivers, upon seeing a hazard sign, immediately switch their hazard signal on to stop at the bus stop ahead (I'm serious, it amazed me to see how the blinking lights turned from one to two, I wouldn't mind standing there longer haha) and the fact that I didn't send a single sms on Saturday. Haven't had such a day in too long a time and the truth is I was really quite enjoyed it. I think I delight in having some real alone and family time now.

Made the first step to meeting one of them random friends. (:

No golf tomorrow ugh. Undoubtedly, I am falling in love with golf.

Oh. bumped into C at Biz today. Surprise surprise, we said hi. I don't think she joined sailing. Prolly due to the.. err.. not too positive experience at MJ. =X

I miss my friends

Not the NUS peeps, not the three of them but random ones like SH, Jan, WH, Sam etc. etc. - people I don't know how I got to know of and those I would usually go out one-on-one with.

Don't feel like hanging out with them any more. Find it's somewhat pointless. And it scares me that all of them are starting their study plans so early. Hate to be among the most intelligent, or rather, the most dilligent here.

The whole family was here on Saturday to celebrate Ah Ma's birthday. It's nice to have catered buffet again. We haven't had that in ages. I love my family.

There!

So I have gotten back all my midterms and I didn't get a bagful of Cs and a F. I hope. I mean, according to my interpretation of the bell curve, I should be getting Bs and B minuses and hearing the Linear Algebra lecturer 'reprimand' us yesterday on our unsatisfactory grades has given me newfound hope that my score of 10/40 may not be a F after all. Of course, still, it ain't no consolation.

Gonna really start studying. And my debit card bill just came in. The thick wad of receipts in my wallet has finally come to haunt me.

It finally dawned on me that being the marketing director for sailing and the odac events comm is not easy peasy at all. How do you even begin scouting for sponsors?

Be wary, she is not who she seems to be.

They say a scorpio is..

and yeah I am. Gah!

This week is looking to be another busy one. Especially tomorrow. I can't even fit lunch or dinner between plus all that travelling to school to bishan and back to school again. Grr. I wanna stay home just to slack or anything. Last week was so over the top. Seriously. Zouk on Wed, Timbre on Friday, MOS on Sat. By the way, MOS sucked. I think I don't like clubbing that much any more. Even at Zouk because it's sardine-packed; unless we stay at Mambo the whole time but that's another matter. I much preferred the durian eating session with Aunty S and cousin at Geylang after our Hari Raya dinner at cousin's place. That was much more worthwhile and fun.

On my pinkie toe is a huge blister from wearing heels on Sat. It's really huge - just slightly smaller than a 5-cent coin and hollowed out. So there, ouch!

Free lunch!

I mean dinner at Timbre @ The Arts House. It was one of those church event stuff and Rach (I haven't seen her since the release of her A'level results which means more than a year ago!) invited us. Pizzas were delicious! Absolutely love those ultra-thin crust pizzas. There was this jewellery-making activity that I was kinda hopeless at so I just brought the bits back with the hope that perhaps Mag can help to put them together. (: The butterfly and dragonfly are soo pretty.

Was talking a lot to this girl who is taking applied math (the horror!) and who did linear algebra before and thought it was useless (yay!). It was funny 'cause the both of us would follow right behind the pizza guy when we see him carrying a hot, yummy pizza from the kitchen. Then at one point, we had to pray for each other and when she did for me, I felt.. err.. like.. err.. touched? I'm not too sure myself. But I didn't return the deed 'cause I told her outright I don't know how to pray. I really don't!

I've been a bad girl lately - clubbing on Wednesday and skipped school yesterday and today. I will start working hard next week! Oh my econs midterm results is out! My score is 26/40. Gah, I'm just at average (mean = 25.88, median = 26). Darn I guess this means a B- or C. Bleh. I need an A!

Update

Amazing! It seems I do portray a mugger image at school. One by one, my friends express disbelief when I say, 'I haven't started on the project' or 'I haven't studied'. It's so new to me.

Last Thursday: Studied in school till very late. Engin Guy invited me to his hall to drink so I asked them along too but in the end, we went for supper instead at Spize at River Valley - 7 of us in 2 cars. Good food! A much yummier version of the food served at Fong Seng. Got a ride, reached home past midnight! And there was Econs midterm the next day. Terrible. Impression of Engin Guy also totally changed after that night.

Last Friday: Econs midterms was bad. If even Will the Econs Pro said it's tough, what hope is there left for me? Dinner at Vivo's Bakerzin and dessert at Secret Recipe with Sam and ZH. Finally got to try the famous marble cheesecake - oolala. Got to know about pubs at Tanjong Pagar. Interesting. Oh yeah, hot lips candy sucks.

As usual, Saturday was occupied by tuition.

Last Sunday: Went to SMU to study with Mun, Sam and Sis R. That place is.. different. For one, everywhere's air-conditioned. The land is flat. There are gantries everywhere and one walks from one school to the other using underground walkways. Very high-tech, very secure what with having to tap their matric card at uncountable number of places. Stef was in the study room next to ours - how coincidental. Again, left very late, reached home past midnight, and there was Linear Algebra midterm the next day.

Monday: Finally satisfied craving for Engin's Indon food. Woots. Linear Algebra midterm was not just bad. It was BAD BAD BAD. I could only do the first question and that's 9 marks out of 40. Yes, so the maximum I can get is less than 25%. What added to the sense of impending doom was the fact that the ah neh sitting beside me didn't even bring in a cheat sheet and Sam said 2 ah tiongs were talking about how alright the paper was. Dies.

Yesterday: Last of midterms - Econometrics. Well well well. Let's just say I've got a bagful of Cs and a F flying my way. Darn.

Today: Extremely long day ahead - golf to lunch to tuition to dinner to mambo. Ugh, am so going to stink come clubbing. It's Mag's birthday! Quite cool - last year we had dinner to celebrate and this year it's going to be the very same people, the very same way of celebrating. Only this year, there's also clubbing after. But A's not going so.. Gah can't seem to ever persuade her to even try.

Hmm, should go Zouk again on Friday?
Pros - It's with different people and tickets are at 13 bucks only.
Cons - Is twice a week a tad too much?

Ponders ponders.

Oh dang it.

Two Cs and one F are flying my way.

At Jurong East library killing time

Golf today was fab! Pro said I did very well in chipping. Woots! Of course it's also because he didn't see all those embarrasssingly ugly shots like the one which, instead of going front, went perpendicular upwards and between the feet of S. Unbelievable. -.- I shall attribute my success to Aunty S teaching us that more than a decade ago at Kindergolf. (: We went early to practise our half swing and I'm proud to say I made a wee bit improvement. The ball actually rowed beyond the 50m mark. HAHA. Achievement okay. Small small achievement.

We found out quite a bit about Pro today. Like how he actually stepped onto a golf course at the age of 6 and began playing at 10 years old, was a national golfer and hasn't worked before besides coaching golf! Lucky man. We saw his mom and brother too. His whole family plays golf! Oh oh he's single and, hmm is he available? Okay going to find that out, plus the scandalous part next lesson. (:

I see the first C flying my way. Philo paper was a disaster. Will said it read more like a gp essay then a philo paper. Econs mid terms is this Friday and I just completed reading through lecture 1 notes. You know what they said about last year's Econs grade? 37 questions right out of 40 only get you a B. Just. Kill. Me.

Sigh, Lin is pms-ing very bad today. Skipped a lecture (which tonnes of our friends attend) and is now somewhere in Clementi ALONE. Man. I have half a mind to go look for her.

Update at 5.57pm: Okay I'm still at JE library, haven't moved an inch. But she's pretty much fine. Portugese egg tarts for happy. Rocks. =D