merry is love ;

Trust no one.

I told you out of good will and you go say crap that jeopardize my chances. I wonder if it's on purpose. And because it means so much to me, I'll never forgive you if I don't get it.

I'm actually missing seeing you around.

And you. I do wonder about what would be us now if I hadn't... you know?

Stand tall; Stand proud.

Growing up

We haven't had such a good talk in such a long long time. I mean we have been so busy with our lives lately I don't even remember the last time we shared like last night. Things I have never told you before, I did. I now wonder why yesterday was so special. And although we curse ourselves for being so damn unproductive (I curse Facebook too), you know what? For that, I'd rather give up mambo so that I can get a good sleep tonight so that I can start on work earlier tomorrow, work I was supposed to have during that, what, 3 hours?

Then there was the going back to MJ to find out that the very people we've been going back for are leaving after this semester. No more traces of the original team - sailors and teachers alike - left. Nowhere around the school. Literally. It's sad. We're playing with the idea of setting up an alumni by first starting a Facebook group. Baby steps, baby steps. We'll see how that pans out.

And! SIGH. The most upsetting part - after we all finally found time to go down for training, there wasn't enough boats for us to sail! I think that really made us act like much too desperate kids. We were at the jetty whining, we went to ~~request~~ beg for an extra powerboat and laser radial (of course, we didn't get them), we actually contemplated bringing out a school's 420 but thankfully came to the realisation that it was a crazy idea seeing that Amanda (the only person with 420 experience) sailed the boat only a miserable 3 times at most? Oh and the crazy idea included fitting 4 of us into that one 420. It was crazy alright. We ended up sitting at the al fresco area with drinks for Shauna and I, coke for Amanda and chips for all of us. Drowning our sorrows as we called it.

Thoughts and feelings all jumbled up after the day's activities starting from last night. Just a day, but I don't know... I guess it just brought home the fact that so many years have passed, we've all grown up and perhaps all these going back to MJ and sailing trainings are us trying to hold onto something which, unfortunately, does not last forever. So now we're forced to let it go and I'm damn reluctant to because it's a time I treasure so so much. Plus that talk also made me realise how much we have all matured, all that reuniting with old friends, forgiving and (not?) forgetting, and more. Facebook - the bane of my life -and Grey's for the win. It's like we have to come to the stage where we don't have to be there to be there. Wow I sound like an oldie now.

Not helping is the song that PM introduced us to yesterday - People Change by Rockapellas. It made Amanda and I super emo can. Grr.

Mind management

I guess it is a way of coping I've developed over the years - trivialising matters. Like how absorbing bite-sized information is easier than a huge set of notes, minor matters always seem more manageable. It has invited countless remarks along the lines of 'Why don't you ever seem stressed?' which I honestly couldn't come up with any reason for till that conversation just now. Gradually, I started applying it to my friends' problems too. Some must have felt dumb worrying about their problems because I made them seem so trivial. I think eventually some stopped telling me 'cause I always dismiss them as nothing worth bothering about. I should have learnt from Ivy's incident. Now I can't even differentiate whether a matter is major or not any more.

I want to be a better listener and a better friend.

Her words put into mine

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

-Grey's Anatomy

Undeniably emo

It's a funny kind of liberation I feel. Not so much the happy kind like how it always is after exams and such, but rather more of I'm done, I'm moving on now. Isn't quite what I expected but boy am I glad it's all over now even as the reason I joined is being taken away. I guess this fully convinces me that not joining at the beginning was the correct decision thus no more 'I wish' or regrets whatsoever. I tried. Almost teared when Iv thanked me - it was good to know that my favourite leader in the entire mc appreciated my work. I hope he re-runs next year; Will definitely vote him for president. So I'm now embarking on a new stage in college life and who knows what's up. Softball? I'm thinking highly likely.

Free today!

The official announcement will be made at the meeting later today. Actually, a few of them have told me that there's no need to quit 'cause my work the past half year will be discredited then. But my final call is yes because I hate hate hate the talk if I don't. Softball is recruiting and Yin and I may just join. And thinking of volunteering with the A&G Home sailing team. Oh and going to take up windsurfing with sissy R too. Sports and sportsmen are my cup of tea I have realised. (:

2 valentines, valentine not

so for the third year running, i had 2 valentines to celebrate friendship day with me. dont know who came up with this idea of having valentine's & friendship day together but heshe must sure have very high eq cause it means that everyone has a reason to celebrate. cept perhaps those unfortunate enough to be the only single among their friends. hmm, im thinking that could be me very soon.

cant believe they actually attempted to set up a booth in front of orchard mrt station to sell flowers. its vday alright but doesnt everyone already know that spore is a law by law country? plain stupidity- got arrested and now have to go for a hearing in court. what a laugh to find out our p is one of them.

Top 10 in the world

Actually it's nothing much to be proud of but still.. 9th in the world! Hahaha. Bestest bestest score I've gotten ever.

singleton

biz canteen is such a loner's haven. don't feel awkward sitting alone here at all 'cause so many others are alone as well. this is something that will never happen at the deck. anyway i am supposed to be at lesson now but i was close to 1 hour late! so i didn't go in and now have to crawl to school for an early day again on friday. gah blame the terribly slow traffic on the roads today. hope the day passes fast fast. my day was supposed to be 9-4 non-stop, now it's 12-4. but i'm tired.

relief!

i'm out i'm out i'm out! i dropped the bomb just 10 minutes ago. felt a bit bad telling zk 'cause he was so tired. told him i had to talk to him in private about something major major, and he jokingly said 'quit mc ah?' and i went, 'yes how you know?', and he 'huh?!' so loudly. but boy am i relieved now. i'm freeeee! :D

only now i dont know how to act when i bump into any of the ac people. it'll be so weird.

Post BQ '09

Finally the execution of BQ '09 last night after 2 months of planning. Had better sense this time to order less Macs food and bring a jacket so that I won't end up voice-less like the last time camping at Tamp Macs. Luckily there were JC and SL, else I would have been so bored 'cause the Mauritius girl was studying throughout. Future accountant.. sigh. Boring people. OOPS. With the exception of PM 'cause all sailors have fun in their blood. :) Yay to having Jo as my fellow Eastie partner! Still can't forget the feeling of going 150km/h in his car on recce night. ROCKS. :D

P.s. I think I've been emo-ing too much lately I have turned into a permanent pms-er. :X

New look!

Why the sudden change?
'Cause I didn't like how the old font was so... not cute.
Uhh. Yes.
Small font = Cute.
I feel so much younger already.
Also because this space has looked the same since.. I don't know.. more than a year ago?
Merry is Love - my new direction.
Elmo - not so much.
Though I've always loved him the most among all the Sesame Street... monsters(?).
And I comtemplated putting my not-so-meaningless(ful?) email.
But later decided not to.
'Cause it will so totally give away my identity.
Can't let that happen- it'll be too easy for stumblers.
Yay I like my new blogskin. (:

Hates drivers who drive distractedly and slowly.
Haste will be my downfall.

:X x 2

:X no. 1: Yin & I just realised yesterday that I may not be able to be at her 21st birthday. ): I totally planned it already- have a party at KAP Macs and 21 miniature fragrance bottles for present. Feel bad 'cause she said her primary/secondary school bestie will be in Spain for exchange and her NUS bestie (i.e. me) will also not be around so left only her JC bestie then might as well not have party. Like how can! 21st lehh.

:X no. 2: I can't believe we are actually keeping to the practice of going to Vivo for dinner and taking a picture in front of Bakerzin on Vday.

:D

I think Sarah and I will make good working partners in the future. 'Cause she is meticulous and careful which I'm not and I don't mind going out and doing the networking stuff.

AND. Amanda and I are going sailing on Monday with Tracey! Plus we're going back to MJ on Thursday. Yay to good old times! :D

P.s. heard Mr A is leaving MJ. There will be no more traces of The Original MJ Team when he's gone. ):

CNY in pictures

初一

Dinner at Uncle Jimmy's

Dinner at Aunty Susan's

A couple of firsts this year.
1. First time talking to distant cousins our generation.
2. First time inviting friends over for a small lunch. Dad says we can each invite 20 people over next year.
3. First time having dinner with distant relatives at Aunty Susan's.
4. First time we haven't played 通宵 so late into CNY.

Still not in the swing of things

Only 1 more dinner and 1 more week before Chinese New Year is over. ):