Take it slow / Experience in Suzhou -- 5The first two days were awesome. (Over)Confident I then started becoming greedy and impatient. Instead of waiting for hammers and railway tracks, I chased after them. And when they kept moving in the opposite direction, I wondered time after time why the heck, WHY?!
I'm starting again from ground zero. Or rather below ground zero. Psychology man. Remember, psychology.
It takes a new environment to make you notice the things around you - that's my conclusion after a four-movie marathon today. The worthiness of the time spent shan't be evaluated here.
It just reminded me of how Sissy and I looked forward to going out and eating everyday in China because our senses were always stimulated. There was always new things to see or try. Although that meant we lacked sleep most of the time because we would always have a chat at the end of the day no matter how late we returned home (I remember once, we came back at 1am, was so tired and had something on the next day, but we chatted chatted chatted and in a blink of an eye, it was 5am!), we were never really that tired. Or perhaps we were really that tired, but it didn't have an effect because we were perpetually running on adrenaline and endorphin. I think it speaks a lot that the best sleep we had was on the overnight sleeper train to Beijing and the second best on the same overnight sleeper train back from Beijing to Suzhou. But gawd, I miss those times. I miss being worry-less. I miss the excitement I feel when I do/go something/place new. And I miss those chats. Those chats I missed so so much after Sissy S just left that and I had no one to talk to when I got home. There was a point I got really really homesick, I cried cried cried and just wished to be back.
Why do I keep talking about those times even as it is already 2 months on?
Because of songs I listened there and are now associated with all good things in Suzhou, songs that I continue to listen to now. I can't express how thankful I am for this experience because it's one I will never have the chance to go through again. Old things won't be new again. Worry-less times won't return because we're going to step into the real world oh-so-soon. I can only miss (and lament about it) being truly happy and free.
P.s. Mandarin MSN convo and me are beginning to not go very well any more.
